kimkb49 - Fab Fit Squad

Flexible Dieting: How To Quickly And Easily Create One

June 16, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

This is a topic that’s been coming up for a lot of you so I really wanted to do a little bit of a deeper dive. What I’m going to explore today is all about flexible dieting.

What do I mean by flexible dieting? Typically, we’ve been programmed that in order to lose weight, get fit, get healthy, we have to follow some particular program be it Keto, Weight Watchers, Whole30, Paleo. There’s some formalized blueprint program that I’ve got to follow if I want to have any results.

Recently my sister posted on Facebook that she lost 50 pounds and all the comments were, “Girl, what did you do?” And everyone wanted to know what the Holy Grail was, and basically she was like, “Well, my Holy Grail was I stopped drinking wine every night and I started moving my body.” What diet is that? Is that the Kendra? That’s basics for me, as a fitness professional that is fitness 101 – stop eating crap and move your body. Oh my god, I could write a whole book and make millions on that, it’s not rocket science.

Break Up With The Plan

My concept of flexible dieting is that you get to break up with “the plan”. You’ve been marketed to for years, decades about “the plan”. I was recently listening to a podcast All About Fat, and the woman spent five years researching fat, and what I mean by fat is I’m talking about body fat, fat in foods, anything that has to do with fat she spent five years studying it and breaking it down.

If you have looked at any history, if you go back in colonial times if someone was fat, they were wealthy. Fat was something to be aspired to. If we also look back into the 50s and 60s it was very aspirational to be curvy. And then at some point someone said, “You need to be a size two, weigh three pounds and eat grapes all day.” And we all got obsessed with dieting. Which leds us to where we are today obsessed with what “diet” program and what plan are you following.

This is what I know – you can follow a plan until the plan doesn’t work, and the plan doesn’t work for a myriad of reasons. This is where flexible dieting comes in. Let me just back up, let’s first do vocabulary.

When I talk about diet, I don’t mean a plan, that’s not what I mean. When I say diet, I’m talking about what you physically put into your mouth, what you are eating; that’s what I’m calling a diet. And so, we need to look at what we’re currently eating before we can make an assessment. It’s like if I were to go to the doctor and say, “These are my symptoms”, that’s exactly what your diet is. Your diet shows me what you are currently eating, because for the most part most of the women I work with eat pretty good. What I mean is you’re eating probably about 70%, and all it takes is a few minor tweaks and you’re going to start to see some of the results.
Pulp Fiction Diet

And we all know the foods that we should be eating a little less of, and we know the foods we should be eating a little more of; that’s not the problem. The problem is we feel like we need to follow this particular train track and this train track is going to lead us to the glory land, the diet mecca.

Have you ever see the movie, Pulp Fiction? If you haven’t seen the movie, two guys are looking for this suitcase, and you don’t really know what’s in the suitcase but every time you see the suitcase open it has this glow. And that’s what people are searching for. They’re searching for their diet Pulp Fiction. They’re looking for that glow, that feeling that’s just going to be like, “I made it.” And then guess what?

When you’ve made it, you’ve got to sustain it? That’s where people fall down and that’s where flexible dieting comes in, because flexible dieting is sustainable, flexible dieting is about you. I got some questions for you to answer when you look at a plan or a program. Don’t go for what’s popular. Right now, everyone’s on Keto for days. But for some people eating that much fat is too much; eating that little carb may make you feel like someone ran over you and then backed up three times.

Question Yourself

How do you eat?
What are the foods that you like to eat?
What’s your lifestyle?

Because if it’s something that requires you to cook and you’re just like, “That’s not about me”, what’s your budget? Are you having to buy all these magical elixirs, are you going to have to buy high-end things? What does it look like? And how long can you see yourself doing this?

About two years ago I had to go vegan and it was mainly just to clean up my hormones.

I knew it was short-term, but for me

I knew that lifestyle wasn’t sustainable.

I knew I could do it for six months.

I knew that I could totally gut this out for six months. But could I do this for the next 60 years? Oh, hell no! Because for me it was a lot of cooking, and I cook, but I don’t want to have to cook every single meal. And I don’t like tofu, so to go out, it was always like you’re vegan; tofu. No. There’s more to life than tofu for vegans. 🤯

So, I need you to answer those questions and be honest with yourself. I want you to look at things as, “Could I do this for the next year? Could I do this for the next five years? Could I do this for the next 10 years?” And if you say no, then that’s not the plan for you.

The All or Nothing Approach

You have to decide what your approach is. When I say, “Hey, what’s your approach?” many people will tell me, “I’m just all or nothing. I’m either on it, or I’m off it.” And I’m like, “How has that served you?” When you are so gung-ho like, “I got to be on this train track to the diet destination, or I’m just sitting on the couch with a straw and a bottle of wine, pass the Ho-Hos and the Goldfish, how has that lifestyle served you where you’re like hardcore, no core, hardcore, no core?

Wouldn’t you want it to be different?

Because I see it, I see it in your faces, I hear it in your voices when you’re just like, “I can’t anymore. I want to be able to go on vacation, I want to be able to walk into my closet, and not stress that those pair pants from last spring are going to fit over my ass.” I want you to have that confidence like, “I’m going to my closet and anything in here is going to fit my ass.”

Think about the potential, how hard is it going be? How much weight are you trying to lose? Will you have to give up foods that you love? What will you need to sustain this? And what are the thoughts that you have as you are reading through the do’s and the don’ts, what are your thoughts? Because at the end of the day a lot of people are knowledge brokers, they can take in all the knowledge, they can listen to information, they can listen to podcasts, they can watch all the YouTube videos and take all the notes, analyze till next Thursday, but still not take the action.

The action is where the rubber meets the road, and until I actually take that big step back and I analyze what I am doing and then decide where I want to go, I can’t take action. And I find that a lot of people, and I’ve talked about this, you’ve got to set goals, and you have to be not afraid to set goals because I get it, you may have disappointed yourself in the past.

Have I hit every goal I’ve ever set? Heck no, not at all. But I know the pain of me being in the same place again and again and again and running into the same wall over and over again, bugs the fuck out of me. And I don’t want to be in that position, so whenever I do miss my goal, I ask myself why, and I don’t beat myself up, I give myself the grace and I say, “Did I bite off more than I could chew? Was there something else going on in my life that I couldn’t give it the focus? And I try to give myself that grace, give myself that space to focus.

Work the Plan

Back in the day I will admit I’d be like, “You suck, you’re stupid, you can’t ever do it.” And where did that get me? Nowhere. So, I took a step back. If you can’t take that step back, that’s why you work with a coach or an accountability partner because they could be that third party to be like, “Okay girl, here’s where you give yourself that grace. Here’s where you give yourself that space, that time so that you can do a CSI.”

You’ve watched the show – they come in, dead body on the floor, and they piece together, “Okay, the broken lamp, so she must have fallen here, someone must have walked in there.” We all know, and that’s what you do. Before you get into action you kind of say, “This is where I’ve been, this is where I want to go, and we’re going to piece together the plan in order for you to get there.” But I don’t want you to just plan the plan, I want you to plan to say, “I got to move my tushy.”

On a Scale of 1 to 10…

Here is where I like to keep it simple; I like to make my action plan really simple. So, for me to assess where you are, for me to assess where I am, is what I’m currently eating, my diet, am I hungry? On a scale of one to ten where ten means I’m going to eat my arm to zero being I’m stuffed to the gills, where am I? The second thing is how is my energy? Do I feel like woo-hoo all day long, or do I feel like I’m crashing and burning? Do I feel like I’m always wanting to take a nap? Am I living off of coffee? Where am I? And the same thing, zero meaning I’m bouncing off the walls; ten meaning I’m almost at a coma. Where are you when it comes to your energy? And then cravings, are you in the place that you’re craving? Zero being like every craving is knocking on the door and you’re white-knuckling it; ten, what cravings? I don’t know what those are, I don’t have any.

Those are the first three questions that I ask, then I go into non-food questions. Sleep, are you sleeping? And are you getting quality sleep? Some people will tell me, “Yeah, I sleep six hours.” But then they’ll tell me, “Well, I go to the bathroom and then I’m up for an hour after I go to the bathroom, or I toss and turn so I’m not really getting a good night’s sleep.” Are you moving? I’ve talked about this before. I wear a Fitbit because I really want to make sure that I’m getting in my 10,000 steps, so are you? Some people work out and then they sit at the desk all day long and that’s it, their only movement is to get up and go to the bathroom. Are you moving? And then what’s your stress level? Are you like again on that zero to ten, zero meaning people are like, “Girl, are you alive?” to like, “You’re running around with your hair on fire.” Where are you? Because all of these factors will weigh heavily into what you’re taking in for your diet.

And if you noticed, most of my questions weren’t about are you eating this superfood? Are you eating that vegetable? It wasn’t about that. It’s like in this moment in time, is what you’re eating serving you based on this base level of criteria? And I’ve seen it all over the interwebs, and you see it too, the questions like, “What’s the best fat burning food? What’s the best sugar-free food? How do you feel about protein ice cream? How do I feel about [insert the question]?”

Do those questions inspire you to take action? Or do they ask you to ask more questions and not take the action? That’s the question I have for you. If my questions do not inspire, then I need to ask better questions. My boyfriend, Tony Robbins, always says ask better questions and you’ll get better answers.

Get Into Action

When I’m in that action phase I’m all about what is it going to take for me to move my feet? What is it going to take for me to go from what I know I want to where I want to go? And then I’ve got to say, “What are the results? Is my current diet yielding my results?” If my goal is to lose my belly, boost my booty, have more energy, dump my cravings, is what I’m eating doing that? For me, I was eating clean for years. If you looked at my nutrition you’d be like, “Oh my gosh, you eat great.” And I was eating great, but for some reason I hit a plateau, I hit a wall and I couldn’t do more.

We all go on vacation and you want to take off those last few pounds before you go on vacation, and that was me, I just wanted to get a little tighter, and for some reason I’m like, “I can’t do it.” And I had someone look over my shoulder, I was like, “What am I doing wrong?” Because for yourself you can’t be the voice of reason because you’re like, “I’m awesome, I’m doing amazing.” Or you’re like, “I suck, I’m doing horrible.” You can’t have that middle ground like, “Well girl, this is what you need to do.” Most of us can’t do that with ourselves.

So, I had a third party look over my shoulder, and for the most part I was eating great, but I was eating too much for what I was doing, so I needed to tweak some of my choices. And that’s what I find with a lot of clients is that they need to tweak some of their choices, so maybe it’s not having two chia waffles, there’s nothing wrong with chia waffles, they’re great, but maybe instead of having two in a meal you bring it down to one and you add in some cottage cheese. It’s those kinds of yin and yang, that give and take of that.

If you noticed, I didn’t follow a plan, I had to step back and had to be flexible in my approach. So, it was like focus on making sure that my choices weren’t over the top. And when you break up with the right and the wrong and you see what foods feel right for you.

What’s Good For the Goose…

I believe I’ve talked about this before, but just in case – I’ve had a client who’s like, “I’m just starting to feel bloated and just horrible after I eat.” And I said, “That could be anything, so what I need for you to do is keep a log, and every time you feel bloated, I’d love for you to write down when. Every time you eat a meal, I just want you to just ask the question, “Do I feel bloated?” Over the course of a few weeks she was logging, and she found out that it was coconut oil. You read all over the interwebs, coconut oil is thebomb.com and three times on Sunday. But for her coconut oil wasn’t thebomb.com. For some reason there was something in coconut oil and her that no bueno.

So think about if I break up with the good food/bad food list and just focus on how I feel. For me, I can’t eat eggs. Scrambled egg whites, if I were to eat scrambled egg whites, I’m like, “So, what’s next?” 20 minutes later I’m like, “And what’s next?” It’s the ultimate protein, super healthy, there’s nothing wrong with egg whites; they just don’t do anything for me. Other people they’re like, “Oh my god, egg whites, I love them. I can make out with them.” But for me I’m like, “Yeah, I’m good, I’ll pass.” And I want to like them, but my body just metabolizes them too fast then my next meal needs to be like almost immediate.

Track Your Progress

If you aren’t tracking your food, start tracking. I know it’s a pain in the rump shaker, but the beauty of nowadays is that there are apps on your phone, hand write it, just keep it simple. And if you need a third party to look over your shoulder and see what’s going on, hit me up. You can always find me her and shoot me an email.

The reason why many of us follow a plan versus kind of taking the approach I talked about, seeing what our diet is and figuring out where the extras are, because most of us have extras that we can start to curtail back, we also can look and see if there are things that we should add in.

Most people probably aren’t eating as many vegetables as they should be, or aren’t eating as many good fats, or probably aren’t getting in as much protein as they should. But what happens is we all want certainty, we want to know that if I do what you say it’s going to work like a charm, it’s going to work as advertised, and unfortunately with nutrition we’re all bio individuals, what’s going to work for me isn’t going to work for the guy that just walked by on the street, that isn’t going to work for the woman who is walking next to me. We all have different needs and different tweaks that need to be made in order to satisfy our own individual metabolism.

So, the certainty I give you is that if you take the time to figure out how your body works, you’ll never diet a day in your life; I know that for certain. So, what you need to do is explore the alternatives to dieting, because certainty, as I’ve said before, comes from asking better questions, and the better questions aren’t the good food/bad food list, or “Can I have this?” list.

We are all grown ass women. And I want you to think about whatever program you’re looking at, can you afford it for a long period of time, not just for 30 days, not just for 10 days, can you afford it for a year? Does this limit you? Do you have negotiability in it? I know for me I have one non-negotiable, actually two non-negotiables in my nutrition. My one non-negotiable is I will fist fight you over coffee. I’m just not going to give that up. I’m going to have coffee, and if my results slow because I’m having coffee, so be it. The second thing is I want to at least be able to once a week go out to dinner and not eat like a jerk, but go out and not be like, “Does it have this in it?”, not interrogate the chef and pretty much go in the kitchen and make my own meal, because been there, done that, and I don’t want that t-shirt anymore. Those are my two non-negotiables.

Unconventional Switch Up

When I first started this whole flexible dieting, I was like that’s what I’m going to build my nutrition around. And then I said those are my fun things that’s going to make my life sane. Then I said, “What is nutritionally going to help me long-term?” And one of the things nutritionally I put in there was that I wanted to make sure I got in all my vegetables, and so in order to get all my vegetables, every single day I have a giant salad right. And that salad always varies depending on the season. So, I change the salad green that I use.

I change up if it’s carrots or if it’s cabbage or it’s red cabbage. Sometimes I have broccoli slaw. I always make sure that there’s something new in the mix every single week to give myself that variety I need, but I’m also getting a ton of vegetables in there.

I want you to think about as you kind of try to wrap your head around this whole flexible dieting, what are the things that aren’t on everyone’s diet list? So, maybe you need to have two squares of chocolate every day. Maybe once a week you need to have a mocha from your favorite coffee shop. I don’t know what it is, but we all need to have those one or two things that keep us sane.

Then, we need to have that balance, that moderation. We need to have that one or two things that you know are healthy and sustainable. My salad – I can have a salad anywhere on this planet, maybe Antarctica might be a stretch, but most places on this planet I can go in and order a salad with some type of protein on it and be happy as a clam. So, I want you to think about that.

And also, as you’re looking at nutrition, are you somebody that’s going to meal prep? Or do you have to meal prep, or can you pull together pieces to create that meal prep program? And does it require a certain amount of workouts? There is this new workout, I can’t remember the name of it, and someone was asking about it where it requires you to work out two times a day for 45 minutes each round, so for 90 minutes. Well, back in the day I used to work out two hours, that was my bare minimum, and if I didn’t work out two hours, why work out? But now I’m like, “45 minutes two times a day, oh kill me.” That’s just not in my wheelhouse. I can give you 45 minutes, no problem, but 45 minutes two times a day, oh heck no, that ain’t happening.

So, I need you to be honest with yourself, and I’m not talking like 30 days. Who can’t do anything for 30 days? I’m saying give me a year. Look at it on a long horizon and look for a year, and if you’re ready for an alternative to diet, ready to really look at this flexibility, I’ve created a report, The Four Alternatives to Dieting, you can find that on my website it’s .

Do You Ever Feel Like You Can Be Two Entirely Different Women?

June 6, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

Sometimes you live in the “golden zone,” you know ‘exactly’ what to eat and you do it perfectly 100% for a few weeks… and then, there are the times where you fall off the wagon, and spend loads of time trying to find your way back on it.

That was me, for years I struggled with the on the wagon off the http://www.fabfitsquad.com/ontrackwagon mentality.

How about you?

And better yet… Would you like to burn that wagon to the ground?

It’s possible!

What if you could learn the tips, tricks and strategies of those women who not only lived but THRIVED in the “golden zone”?

No more pressing the reboot button.

Finally learn how to break this cycle when you attend this FREE 5 day Master Class Series.

You’ve been on that slippery slope for far to long and it’s time you’ve learned what it’s like to give yourself grace and get back on track without missing a beat.

During the week of June 10th, I invite you to join me for the 5 Days To Get Back On Track (and never fall off again) live Master Class.

During that entire week myself and five other fitness pro will be dumping some serious knowledge bombs so that by the end of the week you have an anti wagon toolbox leaving you feeling empowered as you head into summer solidly no longer worrying about “the wagon.”

WHY ATTEND?

5 Days To Get Back On Track (and never fall off again) you’ll walk away:

✔️Changing your inner dialog so you are no longer yelling at yourself to “stop being a fat ass”

✔️ Build a bulletproof mindset that helps you to keep going when you feel like your failing

✔️ Learn to make decisions that are sustainable supporting your long-term goals and daily life.

And more!

Enough is enough!

Let’s put some light on this dirty little secret.

Will you join me?

A Good Morning Routine Can Set the Tone for a Calm Day

May 22, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

A few years ago, I started hearing about morning routines and I didn’t really get. Let’s be honest with each other Mornings can be a hectic and rushed time. You may be trying to get yourself, kids, dog ready for the day and out the door on time with some sanity.

Starting your day out feeling frazzled, cranky, and overwhelmed isn’t good for anyone. A simple solution to make things a whole lot less stressful is to create a morning ritual for yourself that you perform each and every day. Let me explain to you what I mean by this and how a good morning routine can set the tone for a calm day.

What is a Morning Routine?

A morning routine is a series of actions you take every morning to help set the tone for your day. The thing about a morning routine is that it doesn’t have to take much time. It’s a form of daily self-care that helps you to begin each day feeling energized, relaxed, and purposeful. Morning routines are personal and unique. You decide what that can be for you. It could be writing in a journal, meditating, exercising, or sitting in complete silence drinking a great cup of coffee. Whatever a morning routine consists of, the purpose is to help you feel prepared for – and in charge of – you day.

Benefits of a Morning Routine

They don’t need to take much time, get up 15 minutes earlier. Ladies, great things can be gained from this practice. I know for me it’s been LIFE CHANGING. My morning journaling is like my morning workouts. ANYTHING can happen that day because I know that I’ve done something for myself! I go into the day with a sense of calm and knowing that I can handle any obstacle that pops up during the day.

My mornings now leave me feeling proactive and allows me to take time for myself on a regular basis.

Morning Routine Suggestions

Keep it simple, the first most of us want to do is make it complicated Your morning routine should be tailored to activities that you choose and from which you will get the most benefit. What nourishes your soul and provide meaning to you. I do have some suggestions to get you started.

First thing is “morning pages.” Sit down and write for 5 – 15 minutes of your thoughts and feelings can be quite cathartic and healing. Workout or if you have time go for a mind clearing leisurely stroll. The extent of the workout doesn’t matter. It’s moving your body that creates energy.

Taking your movement outside can add calm and perspective. Your morning routine can start the night before, by writing down a tentative to-do list and schedule for the following day. This might seem a bit over-the-top, but it truly can help to release the tension of uncertainty by providing you with a framework for the day ahead. The best way to start is say what is the outcome you want for your day.

These are a few ideas. Do whatever makes you feel will kick start your day. Start with 15 minutes and build up to a half hour, depending on your lifestyle. The key to reaping the benefits of a morning routine is to make it a regular practice. Soon you’ll begin to see your life transform.

I’d love to hear what you are planning to do for your morning routine.

Ready To Find Some Calm

May 18, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

Do you ever feel like you take in WAY to information that you can’t shut

down your brain? That was me I was in overload mode big time! I really couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t turn my brain off. Since I wasn’t sleeping well, I was eating like shit (sugar and carbs) to give me the energy to me get through the damn day. Are you picking up what I’m putting down? Maybe you’re the type who heads to the couch with a bottle of wine and a straw.

Guilty as charged!

I was a live nerve about to explode! Don’t get me started on my headaches!! If I got through the day without one praise Jesus!!

I was so out of balance and in overload mode and really had no way to handle it.  I used to be a big old stress ball. If I didn’t have Tums, Advil or Pepto Bismol on me it wasn’t a good day. I was an overworked and overthinking Marketing Manager (insert your profession) – know how that feels like.

I went to my doctor to help me manage the headaches, I wanted prescription, but she handed a prescription, not for some miracle drug but to get the book don’t sweat the small stuff and to take yoga. 😫

Yup… insert my eye-roll!!! 👀

Basically she was telling me that I need to find ways to calm my mind. I had to focus on learning ways to manage the overload coming my way. This was several years ago and now we are so “connected” it’s a challenge to deal with the chaos in the proactive ways so that you don’t find yourself feeling depleted.

While I rolled my eyes at the book the doctor had given me when I look back it was a bit of an awakening of sorts for me. Yes, I want all my problems solved with a magic pill, come on that is really easy. I had to learn how to de-stress and unwind or I was not heading for a happy ending!.
What I’m about to share with you, helped me to take the steps to calm my mind. They may not all work for you, but I’m confident you’ll find at least one or two that will fit your lifestyle.

Meditation
This was a challenge for me being quiet and being in the moment. Good grief!!! My good friend Leeanne she as a meditator and I asked her for help. She had my meditate for 30 minutes – OMG that was a lot!! My mind was like a horse running around a track – I couldn’t turn it off.

I do not recommend starting with that much time. I reduced it to 5 minutes and found some great music on Youtube. There are other meditation apps that you can use.

I will say that eventually I moved up to 15 minutes and that where I hang it feels good for me It doesn’t feel like it but eventually you will learn to clear away all of the thoughts that are swirling around in your head and competing for your attention.

This is something you’ll need to incorporate into your life multiple times per week. It doesn’t have to be difficult or overwhelming, though. Just a few minutes each day are actually enough to obtain the calming benefits.

Yoga
The other advice the doctor gave me was yoga. Now this was is still a tough one for me. I’ve told myself that I’m going to make a more concerted effort to bring my yoga into my life.

Journaling
When this was first suggested to me, I was dead set against doing it.
I wanted nothing to do with journaling. I was not a ‘dear diary’ kinda girl.
I started with just 5 minutes of writing why the hell am I doing this and slowly I started to realize that journaling allowed me to take all the thoughts that are swirling around in my mind and put them on paper (or on a computer screen, depending on your preference). There are a lot of benefits to this activity that can lead to greater peace of mind and tranquillity. I find that at times I’m writing them that I didn’t even realize I ever knew I thought about.

The key to making this work, though, is to do it on a regular basis. Making a habit of writing helps you to prevent the overwhelming thoughts from overcoming you, and keeps some stress at bay. I make it a point to journal every morning before I start my day. It’s what kick starts my day beside coffee. I do it even when I’m on vacation. It also lets you see these thoughts in front of you. It lets you scream and someone without actually screaming at them. Getting them out of brain and bringing them to the forefront, you can help you gain better perspective and begin to see patterns from which you can make inferences.

There are lots of ways you can journal. It all depends on your personality, creativity, and preference. You may wish to free-write and jot down whatever’s on your mind for five minutes at a time. Maybe you’ll want a prompt that guides your writing for the day on a particular subject. A brain dump is a great way to simply write down all the random thoughts that are in your head as a means of gaining some clarity. Whenever I get stuck, I ask myself the question what do I need to know? Sometime the answers that I write utterly shock me.

I started with this 5-minute journal and gradually moved to free writing. From time I will find a good prompt that gets my juices flowing.
Give these strategies a try to see which you prefer. They’re all great ways to gain clarity, feel calmer, and rid yourself of unnecessary stress.

Are You Ready To Break Some Bad Habits?

May 15, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

I’ve been thinking about this a while. For me this year I’ve been focused on habits. I’m always thinking to myself what is it that keeps you stuck?

What are the questions that I keep getting over and over again?

What are the ways that I help clients?

And one of the things I see over and over again is that people don’t have good habits. What I mean by that is we always focus on things we aren’t –

I’m not a healthy eater,

I’m not a good sleeper,

I’m not someone who exercises, and you just focus on that, the not.

Or when you flip to say it’s time to get healthy it’s completely cutting out the things out of your diet wholesale, like no wheat, no dairy, no gluten, no this, no that, without really kind of looking at all of your habits, your good habits, your bad habits.

Programmed For Certainty

I want you to think about your current habits. Brushing your teeth, that’s a habit; how you take your coffee, it’s a habit; how you take your coffee, when and where you drink your coffee it’s a habit. If you think about it some of our earliest habits were started when we were babies.

You sucked your thumb or you didn’t .

You needed binky at a particular time and as a parent you kind of feed into that habit. Or maybe instead of having your kid suck their thumb you’re like, “Suck this binky instead.”

These are all habits. Habits can be considered good or bad habits.

One of the reasons we fail at habits, be it creating or stopping habits, is that they keep us safe. One of our primal instincts that we need is certainty – You need to know that gravity is holding you down. You need to know that when you take a step that you’re not going to fall off the end of the earth. You need to know that when close your eyes tomorrow, you’re going to wake up tomorrow. And that’s the kind of certainty that you know, you trust and we translate that into other areas of our life.

You want certainty if the person you’re in a relationship with loves you back. You want the certainty that if you start a new diet and it tells you that you are going to lose 400 pounds in four minutes, you better lose 400 pounds in four minutes.

I hear youm, you want the certainty that anything you want you’re going to get. And for a lot of people if they aren’t, I’d say 90-ish% sure they’re going to nail it, they’ll sit their butts right back on the sidelines. It’s a chosen few that even with that small percentage of not being certain they will accomplish or even achieve, however you want to describe it, will still go for it. What I want you to be able to do is if you’re that person who if you’re not 100% certain that it’s going to happen for you and you typically sit back on the bench, I’m talking to you.

I want to give you that extra boost, that extra kick in the pants if you will to go for it, because what I know is that sitting on the sidelines has that gotten you any closer to where you want to be?

And the other thing I know is that if you want something, you’ve got to move your feet. There are a lot of people out there that are like, “I’m going to manifest that.” Really? Well, let me just tell you, manifestation doesn’t work unless you do the work. And I know this is a little woo-woo and it’s going to be a slight tangent, but I’m totally going to bring the plane right back to habits. You have to have clarity about where you want to go and that’s where I’m going to.

You need to be so clear about where it is you want to go. And what I find with a lot of people is not only do they not have strong habits, they’re not clear. And because you’re not clear, you’re not creating the habits that are going to take you to the next level. Without this clarity the habits that you are trying to create aren’t going to be sustainable. The key to create habits that you are going to actually start and chip away at and see results.

Addicted?

If I’m going to start on the bad side of habits, one thing I think is that it starts with physical things. It could be too much exercise, too little exercise, too much food, too little food. It could be working too much, not working enough. Those are the kind of things where habits are formed.

It could be a mindset; it could be you’re that person who life is always happening to you.

It could be you’re always a negative thinker; it could be that you always see things on the bright side.

It could be that you’re a little too optimistic, a little too Pollyanna, a little too wearing rose-colored glasses all the darn time.

It could also be like a technology thing, you could be addicted to your cell phone, you could be addicted to Netflix and chilling, that’s your whole world; you could be addicted to social media.

Whatever track you’re moving down, if you’re moving down the bad habit track or moving down the good habit track, so many people are like, “If only I had more willpower. If I only had more willpower, you don’t even know how much I could accomplish.” And every time I hear that it’s just nails on the chalkboard for me, because willpower isn’t this superhero that’s going to swoop down and take the coffee out of your mouth, take the wine out of your mouth, push you to the gym? It’s not like that.

How Much Does Willpower Cost?

The best way I’ve heard willpower described – and it just like nails it – willpower is a battery and it’s a battery of choices, and the more choices I have to make that rely on my willpower, the quicker that battery gets drained. I want you to think about your cell phone. Here I am, it’s 8 p.m., and my battery is at 86%, and that could be I had a pretty easy day, I didn’t have to make any big willpower decisions. Now, I go home, I eat dinner, and after dinner happens, what if I want a sweet treat? So, now I have to start thinking to myself, “Ice cream, cookies, fruit, what do I go for?” That’s draining my battery because I spend a lot of cycles thinking about brownies, cookies or have the fruit. Then maybe I choose the brownies or the cookies, maybe I choose both, then I have a few rounds in my head beating the crap out of myself, and that will pop batteries down to like 50%. Now comes 9:00pm, I could watch a movie on Netflix, or I could go to bed. Then I decide I’m only going to watch 20 minutes and if nothing catches my attention I’ll go to bed. Oops here comes a binge-a-thon and I’m watching episode one, season one of (you insert the show) and next thing I know it’s 2:00 a.m. and episode 10 is rolling up and I’m dead on my feet. At this point my willpower is down to zero!

Now, if I didn’t hit my recharge button, do you think by the time I got up the next day I’ve already dead dog tired, am I going to make better choices tomorrow? Or am I too tired from the day before to make good choices?

There is NOT an infinite supply of willpower, the more you rely on it, the faster it will burn itself out. It comes back around to getting clear about what you truly want, what’s a true obstacle(s) for you. And so, what is going to be a willpower thing versus a skill power thing.

The Tortoise or the Hare?

If truly you want to live a healthy lifestyle you shouldn’t be white-knuckling it, you shouldn’t be pacing around like you’re waiting for your next fix. You want that ease; You want that flow for you that you’re not going to fall back into your old patterns.

Do you want certainty? Take the time and do the work. Is it an overnight thing? Nope. But if you, again, practice your skill power, you’ll rely less and less on willpower.

You’ve got to have a start date and I challenge you for it to not be on a Monday, because think about it, today is Tuesday, so everyone is going to be like, “I had a candy bar and some cookies today, screw it, I’m going to start on Monday.” What if you said, “You know what, I’m going to buck the trend and I’m going to start on Wednesday. And so, when I start on Wednesday, again, I’m breaking the habit of always starting on Monday, but I’m also giving myself this stake in the ground. And you decide what it is you’re no longer going to allow, or you decide what it is that you’re going to start taking on.

Keep it simple, I always ask my clients what’s one thing, that you can change. They’re like, “Well, if I have to say one thing it would really be to eat right and go to the gym.”

I’m no rocket scientist, but that’s two things. To get you guys to focus down into one thing is really hard for most of you, because you look at all the things that you need to change. You want to do all the things right freaking now!

I believe in The Tortoise and The Hare, that old fable. We all know the story, the hare is like, “I’m going to beat you.” And the tortoise is like, “Go for it.” And the hare runs himself ragged doing all these tricks, showing the turtle how fast he is, burns himself out, meanwhile the tortoise is one step at a time, one step at a time, and he ends up winning the race.

I want you to be that tortoise, I want you to be that so certain, you know where you’re going and you’re taking your sweet old time and you’re just making life happen.

Measured Success

So many of you struggle with setting goals. And one of the biggest things you struggle with setting is numeric goals. In order to achieve your goals they should be measurable.

This is a conversation I have with clients all the time.

Clients: “I want to start a new habit to eat healthier.”

Me: “So, how do you know if you’re eating healthier? How are you measuring that?”

Client: “”What do you mean?”

Me: “So, are you going to eat healthy on Monday, Wednesdays and Thursdays, are you going to eat healthy for breakfast, are you going to eat healthy X number meals a week? What is that quantifiable so that I can look back and say, ‘I did it. Look at me’”?

Winning Streak

We all want to do that victory lap. Define it – if you say, “I want to work out more”, is it for duration, is it for a number of days at the gym, what is it? Classify what it is because, again, the clearer you are, the more defined you are, the more likely it’s going to get done. There’s a saying, “what gets measured gets done.”

There’s an app on my phone called Today and it’s a habit tracker. Jerry Seinfeld, when he first started as a comedian, knew he had to have a library of jokes in order to be able to go to all the open mic nights. He wanted a library so he wasn’t reusing the same material over and over and over again. So, he challenged himself to write a joke every single day. He got an old-fashioned calendar, and every time he wrote a joke, he put a giant X through the day. And his motto was, “Don’t break the streak.” So, he wanted to wake up every day and see that X on the wall, the X on the wall, the X on the wall.

So, think about your habits like this. I want you to see that X on the wall. Can you keep a streak for seven days? Can you keep a streak for 14 days? How long can you keep this streak? And a lot of people will talk about cold turkey. If it’s giving up wine or if it’s going to the gym, they’ll just be like, “I’m going in two feet and I’m making this happen.” I go back and forth. I believe there is a percentage of the population that can do that.

About 15-plus years ago when my husband and I decided that we’re going to live a healthier life, and we met with our trainer, we came home and literally cleaned out our cupboards. We were just like, “All right, this goes.” And we just cleaned out our cupboards.

Now, other people would be like, “Oh hell no.”

There was a weight loss show I used to watch on TV, I can’t remember the name of it, and the whole family needed to go on a diet. The nutrition coach moved in with them, and the first thing the coach said was, “Look, we got to get rid of the stuff in your house that’s going to tempt you.” She’s going through their cupboards throwing stuff away, the family is literally crying. The family is crying, the dad is swearing like a sailor. It’s so funny the attachment that we have around food.

Savor The Journey

So, I want you to just think, can you go cold turkey? Do you need to go cold

turkey? Here is where I ask you to take an assessment of where you are based on what you want to do. A lot of my clients, they like their wine, and I’m like, “Let’s start with where are you.

Are you drinking every day? Are you drinking two glasses, three glasses a day?

Can we scale that back to one glass a day? Can we scale it back to two glasses a day? Can we scale it back to a really great glass on a Friday instead of a glass or two every night or wine out of the box, Monday through Friday, can you spring for a really good $30-plus bottle of wine and savor it?

So, it’s looking at that kind of stuff.

It all comes back to where do you want to go. Think GPS if you don’t punch in the right address you are going to spin your wheels, or you’re going to land miles from where you want to be.

I talk about this regularly, but I’m the queen of baby steps. Back in the day I was so hardcore, and I want to apologize for those of you guys who worked with me back then, but I was so hardcore; now I’m about baby steps. It goes back to where are you, assessing where you are, and then seeing what’s possible for you. Now a days, everyone wants to immediately go from beginner to expert, but I always say to people, “Beginnings are messy, but it’s in the mess where you find your mastery.” It’s in the mess where you find your footing and how it’s going to best work for. Yes, it stinks, yes, it’s awkward, yes, it’s uncomfortable, but at the end of the day I know what always works out, I truly know that it works out.

Success is boring as fuck, and I want you to get comfortable in it being boring. I want you to get comfortable that there’s not going to be shooting stars and unicorns flying across when you’re hitting your goals. But if that’s something that motivates you that you need, I want you to set little mini goals along your path and celebrate the heck out of them, because the wins are what keep you going; it’s not the deprivation, it’s not the denials, it’s looking in the mirror and saying, “Hey, these pants don’t feel as tight”, doing your measurements and saying, “I think I’m down five inches.” It’s those kinds of things. It’s like, “I’m sleeping better. Look, my skin looks so much better.” “It’s your husband getting a little handsy”. Those are the things I want you to think about.

Willpower will only take you but so far. When you start learning stronger skills, you’ll have a better shot of knocking it out of the park. And just like good habits are triggered, there’s a trigger mechanism; bad habits have the same trigger mechanism. So, I want you to think about what kicks off the habit you’re trying to change.

Do you come home and immediately the habit is take off your coat, grab a glass and pour a glass of wine?

Is the habit after you get the kids down you feel like you deserve a snack?

Is it the habit that you only go to the gym on days it’s not raining?

What is that habit, what is that trigger that you seem to fall into?

And is there any way, is it your environment, is it someone who’s around you, what is the way that you can change that trigger so that it helps you to create the next steps?

The last piece is accountability. I can’t stress accountability enough. Over the last few weeks I’ve been working with an accountability partner and it’s been very eye-opening because — let’s just be honest — we think we are the bee’s knees… okay, at least I think I’m the bee’s knees. And it’s very humbling to open the kimono and be vulnerable to someone, to be like, “I can’t do this on my own.” And I totally get that, especially for someone in my position, I should know all this. But what I do know is that you can’t be objective about yourself. I know that wholeheartedly you cannot be objective about yourself, you will always think you are doing awesome. One of the best things by hiring someone is that they’re your second set of eyes, they’re the person who can talk to you objectively because there’s no emotional attachment. Their only skin in the game is to help you be your best. How can you set yourself up for success?

I’m just going to wrap it up. I want you to beware of trolls. Trolls aren’t just those people on the internet you don’t know; trolls can be people you know who when you try to better yourself they don’t like it, they want you to be you, the way you are right now, no changes.

It’s your accountability partners, it’s your circle of like-minded folks when it comes to making this change, they’re going to be your biggest and your best supporters. So, at the end of the day, there are good and bad habit. Both can be broken and strengthened, and it’s just a matter of you getting really clear on what it is you’re trying to create, the life you’re trying to create.

Swimsuit Ready By Summer, Even If You Are Over 40

April 11, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

It’s daylight savings time and I pretty much skipped here because it’s light out. This time of year, a lot of people are starting to think about summer. The nights are getting longer and we’re starting to get a little bit warmer. I don’t want to jinx it, I don’t want to talk too loudly because Mother Nature might be like, “Hey, you’re getting a snowstorm in two weeks.” So, I don’t want to jinx it, I just want to say that I didn’t feel the coldness that I normally feel when I’m outside.

Fit For Summer?

While yes you are looking forward to summer you are thinking to yourself, “Can I get fit in time for summer?” And today is exactly 100 days to summer. Now, I’m counting summer as being June 21st. I think it’s like the astronomical summer, I think that’s the technical name for it. Some people think of summer as Memorial Day; I’m thinking of summer as June 21st, because at least here in New England it doesn’t start to really get warm till around June.

This summer I want you to feel fit and confident and comfortable in your body and with a hundred days you’ve got time. You really do have time. And I’m talking about there’s no deprivation, I’m talking about that you’re not going to be like that poor girl who’s having carrots and water while everyone else is enjoying things. I want you to be able to glide into summer, enjoy your summer and come out on the other side of summer and not feel like, “Oh crap, I got to diet because I had too much barbecue.”

I want you to really learn what it takes to have sustainable weight loss. I want you to know what it takes to have a sustainable, healthy lifestyle without always feeling like you have these big highs and lows where you have to diet before your big vacation and then lose your stuff on vacation, then have to diet again to get ready for the next big thing, then lose your stuff again. If you are over that keep listening,

Keep It Simple

Right now some of you visualize summer and you’re just like, “Sweet Georgia Brown.” You are thinking ‘there’s no way my thighs with the cottage cheese on them are ready for prime time, there’s no way that’s ever going to happen, and thigh gap, I haven’t had that since I was 13’. And if you’re saying you’re not ready, keep reading because I’m going to help get you ready. It’s not going to be anything drastic or crazy like that. The biggest thing I always tell people is keep it simple, simple.

Women like to over-complicate stuff, ad nauseam, we like to take something simple and add 500 layers on top of it so that it’s so complicated that we’re like “Wah?” It’s worse than trying to put it together IKEA furniture, that’s how complicated we make stuff. So, I want you to keep it simple. I want you in your mind’s eye to think about what is going well today. What are you doing well, so that we can start to build upon it?

Are you going to the gym? Awesome! How many times do you go into the gym? What’s the duration of the time that you’re at the gym? What are you doing at the gym? And what tweaks can we make to what is already going well?

If you’re going to the gym and maybe you’re only going for 30 minutes and you’re walking on the treadmill, great. Could you take 15 minutes of that 30-minute time block and put in some strength training? Could you add an extra 15 minutes? Could that walk become a jog and a walk? Could that 30 minutes turn into maybe a HIIT workout? What can I take from that 30 minutes of time and how can I build upon it?

The same thing with your food – maybe you’re doing great with your food, awesome. When was the last time you changed something in your diet? And by change, I mean I know there are some people who actually eat the same thing over and over and over again. Maybe instead of reaching for the sweet potato when you go to the grocery store, you reach for the beets; maybe you reach for a butternut squash. Instead of reaching for the brown rice, maybe you’ve reached for the quinoa or some chickpeas. It’s those little subtle tweaks I’m looking for. Maybe instead of always having broccoli you’ve reached for another green vegetable. Little tweaks that you can build on but still keeping it really simple. Because the more complicated you make it, the less likely you are to continue, and I want you to continue.

I like simple things. I did a Facebook Live in my group, Reality Diet, a few days ago and we talked about meal prep. I’m a simple girl, any vegetable that comes in a bag that someone has chopped, shredded, zoodled, it’s for me, those are the vegetables I will always buy. Someone asks, “How do you cook beets?” Well, I don’t cook beets because there’s this place called Love Beets and they make them, and all I have to do is open up the package and slice them and then I’m done; no need to cook the beets. So, I want you to think about that, what’s already working. What are some tweaks you can make to what’s already working?

Movement challenge

And I also want you to focus on movement. Now, that’s not sexy, I know, but what is movement? Movement is acts of daily living. I’ve talked about this on previous shows. We don’t move a lot in our lives anymore, we’re very sedentary, like we go for a workout and then we sit all day working and not moving a whole heck of a lot.

So, I challenge you, if it’s not a Fitbit, use your Apple watch or whatever and get in at least 10,000 steps a day. Just focus on having those acts of daily living. Take the dog for an extra 10 minutes on the walk, grab your kids and go for a walk around the block after dinner now that it’s a little lighter outside and a little bit warmer outside. But keep those thoughts.

Be Consistent

Ask yourself, “Is this something that I can do for the next one to two months? Is it something I can do for the next one to two years?” Because if it is, guess what? That’s called consistency, and you know how I feel – I create good habits, I get good results, and my results lead to consistency, and that’s how you win. It’s not this magic meal plan, it’s not this magic super food, or this list of inflammatory foods, it’s literally, “What can we do on a consistent daily basis?”

Sustainable and healthy goal?

The second piece is what is your overall goal? And I ask that because I find that most people aren’t clear about what their goal is, and then the second piece is that they’re not realistic about what it takes to get there. So, six-pack abs — everyone is like, “Six-pack abs, I want to have six-pack abs.” Well, in order to get to six-pack abs, one, it has to be genetically possible for you. Not everyone is genetically predisposed to six-pack abs. You’re predisposed to have a flat stomach, but to get the six-pack abs I need to have a certain percent body fat. In order to get to that certain percent body fat, I don’t have a lot of wiggle room in my nutrition, I don’t have a lot of wiggle room in my workout, so if I want that six-pack abs, I’ve got to work my tushy off. I got to work my tushy off in order to get that. Take a listen to a FB Live I did on this subject.

Now, I want you to ask, “Is working my tushy off to get the six-pack abs sustainable?” Because I work with fitness and figure competitors and for a lot of those girls, abs are like an honored guest. They show up the day of the show and they’re the first to go because as soon as I start to put in some water back into my system, as soon as I start to put some sugar, as soon as I start to increase my carbs, increase my protein, my abs are like, “See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!” So, I really want you as you’re doing this to be crystal clear about what you want, like punching it into a GPS, it’s 123 Main Street, not just punching in Main Street.

And then I want you say, “Is my goal realistic for what I’m willing to do? What am I willing to do to get this goal?” And when I say willing, I’m not talking 90 days, I’m talking 900 days. Could you do this for 900 days? And if you could do for 900 days, is it healthy? Because I know that some of out there is like, “Girl if it’s a six-pack abs, I can do anything for 900 days.” Then it’s like but would that turn into something detrimental to your long-term health? Because at the end of the day I want everyone who works with me to be healthy. I want everyone who works with me to say, “That was a great experience.” Not like, “Ugh. Girl, I worked with her and she killed me. I felt hungry. I felt angry. I just literally thought I could kill people because I just didn’t feel that I had enough substance in my body.” So, if you’re picking up when I’m putting down, that’s what I’m talking about. So, I want you to think about what could be achieved in this next hundred days.

Do sprints

And I like to take my hundred days and break them down into five 20-day sprints so that each time I can say, “This is my long-range goal, and then in order to get to my long-range goal here’s step one, two, three, four and five.” And that way I’m starting to feel successful, I’m starting to get some wins under my belt, I’m starting to get that motivation, I’m starting to be like, “Yeah, I got this, I can do this.” And the mini goals could be changing up your food, setting a bedtime and actually getting six-plus hours of good sleep a night.

Maybe you decide you want to work out in the morning, or maybe you just want to say, “I’m going to consistently get in three to four workouts no matter what.” And maybe throwing in a little meditation. Whatever it is you’re just like, “I’m making me a priority, and I’m setting me as a goal.”

Process It

The next phase is creating a process. If you ever go to any store there’s a process that if you return something here are the steps that the cashier has to take in order to return your merchandise. Or if you buy something, here are the steps, this is how they have to punch it into the computer in order to take your money.

I want you to think about that as you go through what you’re trying to do. How do you make this into a process so that you’re not jumping from one thing to the next thing to the next thing? I see it all the time. People start over here and they’re like, “Oh, I’m totally doing Keto.” And then they can’t stick with Keto because it’s too challenging, it’s too much for them. So, then they jump to, “Oh, I’m going to do Paleo.” Or, “Oh, I’m going to do this.” Or, “I’m going to do this.” And they jump around like a Mexican jumping bean and instead of saying, “My destination is 123 Main Street and the GPS coordinates says I have to stay on this road for a mile. I challenge you to stay on the road for a mile, and when you get to that mile then make a determination. Is there traffic on the road? Is there an obstacle on the road? Or are things flowing smoothly that I can take the next step? And that’s where those 20-day sprints come in so that way you stay firm on the goal but flexible to the approach, if that makes sense.

Then, I want you to keep on whatever goal you set, just keep chipping away at it so that you can look back and say, “This is what I did, I started tracking my food and that was really telling, so then I could see where I was doing amazing, or what kind of sent me off the rails and what was what was triggering me when I went on a bender, if I didn’t sleep.” That way I’m able to kind of start seeing what’s going on and I can start to create this process.

The other way to help create a process is when you work with someone that they can be a second set of eyes. We are very close to ourselves and sometimes we don’t see the trees for the forest, and so you need that person who kind of looks over your shoulder and can point out, “Oh, did you notice that when you sleep less than six hours, you drink 400 cups of coffee and you mainline M&Ms?” You might not see that correlation but someone else looking over your shoulder might be able to see that correlation for you. Maybe you are like me, you are eating clean foods, but you are

Set up boundaries

Review your obstacles. As you’re going down your roads there might be construction, there might be a giant pothole. (This time of year, we’ve got potholes for days around here.) There might be a pothole, there might be a person crossing the street, you might get a flat tire. Take a look at anything in the past that may have stopped you and do your best to foresee that so that you can say, “There are times that I might have to work late, there are times that I might not have childcare, there are times that I just might be dead dog tired. There are times that I might…” I don’t know, think of a reason excuse. But I want you to really think about every time that you’ve kind of zigged when you wanted to zag. What has been that obstacle? That way you can foresee it.

For me when I was working in corporate, my boss would literally come at 5:00pm and dump a pile of junk on my desk, and of course it had to be done by 10:00 a.m. the next morning. So, of course, being the good worker, I would stay doing all of my work and then forgo going to the gym or forego going to meet friends. And so, I had to set my boundaries. I finally had to create a boundary. I found a class that I absolutely loved and it was on a class pass – you buy a certain number of classes and you got a go or you lose your money. And so, I sat down with my boss I said, “Hey, I’m really going to start exercising, I just feel like crap and I know when I exercise, I feel much better, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays I have to leave at 5:00.” And I was scared, my knees were knocking, but it was what I needed for my mental sanity.

Maybe that’s something you need to do. Maybe you need to have a discussion with your partner or with your boss that I need this time for me. Since then I’ve shifted to working out in the morning and for me it just sets the tone for my day. Yes, getting up sucks, but I know that by 7:30am I’ve done Kim stuff and the rest of the day can happen and I don’t feel like I’m going to miss out on my workout, because when I do miss out on my workout, if my day sucks the life out of me.

Get Support

Then the last piece is support; we all need support. Some days you are just like, “I can do it all.” You’re standing on the top of the mountain; your cape is flying behind you. And then other days you just feel like crap, and you’re just like, “I ain’t got this.” And you just want to go to your bed and just put the covers up over your head. It happens, we all have those days.

Like this morning I wanted to put the cover up over my head because I was exhausted. I’m probably going to go to bed again at 9:30pm, like I’m five years old. Who’s in your corner? Who’s going to be that person who’s going to check in on you? When you said, “I’m going to the gym three or four days a week”, who’s going to be that person’s going to be like, “Hey girl, what did you do?” And it can’t be someone who’s going to let you off the hook, it has to be that person that’s going to be like, “Hey girl, what did you do? Why not? How come?” And call you on your shit, because sometimes we need to be called on our shit. And who are you going to tell your why? Because your why is what gets you out of bed when it’s dark outside, it’s snowing outside, it’s cold and you just want to crawl back in.

When I was competing, and I didn’t want to get out of bed I would think about people who had kids. I don’t have any children, and I would think about there’s some mom who is leaving her kids and she got up at 4:00am so she could be back to send her kids to school, and I got nothing. I don’t have anybody to send off to school, I just got me to get my tush to work and that’s it, and I would get myself out of bed.

Now, I just think about what my goal is. In less than a month I’m going to Hawaii on vacation, and I will want to look awesome. So, as I lay in bed, I’m like, “You know what, lying in bed ain’t going to get me looking awesome on the beach, so get your booty out of bed Kim.” And I get my booty out of bed.

I want you to think about what is that for you so that when you’re lying there saying, “I don’t want to”, what’s that thought process that you’re going to go through that’s going to just say, “Alright, I’m up and at ’em”?

And that just made me think about when I was a little kid, when my sister and I just did not want to get out of bed, my mom would open up the door and she would be like, “Up and at ’em” all the time, and that was her kind of second stage of if we don’t get out of the out of bed she was going to lose her stuff. So, think about it.

Be Accountable

Accountability is a big thing. I have a good friend and we’ve been doing this for years, every Sunday I text, “Here are the days I’m going to the gym.” And if she doesn’t hear from me by Wednesday about what I’ve done from Sunday to Wednesday she’s like, “What’s up?” And then I do the same thing for her, and it’s just us checking in on each other.

And it could be something as loose as that, or it can be something really formal as over the past several years I’ve had coaches for pretty much everything, for my business, for my body, and when I have had coaches for my body I’ve had to detail every single thing I’ve put in my mouth -6:00 a.m. I woke up and I had a cup of coffee. 7:00 a.m. I did this. And they’re looking over my shoulder to give me that guidance, to give me that feedback. So, I want you to think about who’s got that, who’s got that for you, and who can help you out with that. And if that’s something you want to talk about, please let me know.

We have a hundred days until summer, everything I gave you is doable, everything I gave you isn’t this hard thing. We make it hard. So, I challenge you to just figure out what it is that you want, what are the slight tweaks that you can make, how do you make that into a process. Don’t make this a complicated process, just make it really simple, like can I sit down on Sundays and map out my week? Can I sit down on Saturday, make a grocery list and get my booty to the grocery store or have Instacart come drop groceries off to me? Can I think about anything that’s going to pop up and get in my way?

And lastly, who’s going to be the person who… I make this master awesome plan, who’s going to be that person who’s going to be like, “Are you doing it?” And the main thing is what’s your why? So, if that all sounds awesome to you, let me know.

Grab Your Blueprint

I’ve created a Four Alternatives to Dieting, and basically what I’ve just said is summed up in a document.. Use this as a blueprint so that you can glide into summer and rock that swimsuit and feel comfortable confident as you walk down the beach this summer.

Do You Even Know What Makes You Happy?

April 8, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

Last week I was listening to a podcast and it was talking about how as women we have lost touch with what gives us pleasure.

The guest asked the host what gives her pleasure and she was stumped.

Guess what — so was I …. I literally was like WTF makes me happy!

As I sit here in living the Flip Flop Life — with my toes literally in the sand, I came up with this list.

So… in no order, here are 50 things that bring me pleasure. 😍 I’d love to hear what gives you pleasure — leave me a comment below.

Freshly washed sheets
The smell of swifter wipes
Bananas that are not to ripe and not to sweet — yes it can have brown spots =) 🍌
True crime
COFFEE with cream and sugar! ☕️
Sunsets 🌅
Walks on the beach 🏖
Flip flops 👣
A cold glass of New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc 🍷
Traveling ✈️
A good workout 🏋️‍♀️
Ice cream 🍦
Warm apple pie 🥧
Warm sun on my face 😎
Infrared saunas
Morning journaling
Hearing my feet crunching on snow
Good conversations
Teaching classes
Coaching my clients
Checking stuff off my to do list
Doing something that I didn’t think I could
The smell of cut grass
A shower after a sweaty workout 🚿
Watching a funny movie 📽
Making others laugh 😂
My morning walks along the Charles River
Conversations with my husband ❤️
Finding money 💰
Hearing one of my favorite songs out of the blue 🎧
A great parking spot (I live in the city)
People watching
Drying off with a warm towel
Sitting on a deck over looking to water
Old school hip hop
Finishing what I started
Laying in bed 🛌
Fall colors 🍂
Pumpkin spice ANYTHING 🎃
Hallmark Christmas movies 🎄
Lazy weekend days
Hanging with old friends you haven’t seen in a while
Fresh popped corn
The smell of a bbq
Cuddling
When a pair of jeans you haven’t worn fit!
Tootsie rolls
Good chocolate
Warm cookies
Looking at the stars
A massage

As I wrote this list I realized the pleasure is a muscle that doesn’t get worked.It’s a habit that we’d love to ignore to stay busy!

Is pleasure a habit you’d like to bring into your life?

I’m hosting a 5-day Habit challenge that will be starting on April 22nd – want in? join Here.

Creating A Wellness Vision That Gets Results

March 16, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

An eye-opening event

A few weeks ago, I was attending an event and one of the topics was about goal-setting. The speaker asked, “How many women in this room don’t like to set goals?” There were probably 30-ish women in the room and I’d say half of their hands went up. And I was shocked 😲 “You’re afraid to set goals?”

That just was the most foreign concept to me ever. I didn’t get it. I was like, “Why don’t you set goals?” Basically, many women don’t like to set goals because they’ve set goals in the past and they either didn’t hit them, or put too much pressure on themselves to achieve it. I get it, it’s the fear of success, and/or the fear of failure. Then some women set goals that they aren’t excited about.

I used to work in corporate and at one particular company we had a review every quarter and every quarter we were given goals by your manager. And let’s be honest, 90% of the goals I set was because I thought I should say the right thing. I wanted the bonus! 💰When you’re in a corporate job you can’t say, “I don’t give a rat’s keister about any of this. I just want you to pay me money on the 15th and the 31st of the month and just leave me alone.” 🤐

That would get you fired, just saying. 🤷

Those kinds of goals were what I was used to setting. I’d some goals in my life, the usual, you know — my husband and I, saved for our wedding, we saved for a house. But other than that, I literally bumped a lot through life for a really long time.

When I first started to get into health and fitness, the trainer that I worked with he said, “Let’s set some goals. Why are you here? I don’t want to waste your time, and I don’t want you to waste my time, why are you here?” And for a lot of people that can be very like, “Who the hell are you?” Or “yeah, you’re right, you don’t want to waste MY time.” For me I felt inspired, empowered, like, “Yeah, let’s do this, let’s come up with some goals.”

After hearing these women, I could totally see how scary it could be, especially if you’ve told yourself you’re going to lose 50 pounds in three days and you didn’t do it and you’re like, “Screw it. Pass the brownie.” I get that.

Lottery Dreamin’

When I first became a Wellness Coach and I went through my coaching program, one of the cornerstones of the program was creating a Wellness Vision. And I don’t know why this idea of flew out of my head and why I haven’t talked about this before. The wellness vision takes the pressure off of the goal. Instead you to think about the vision as your ideal scenario, your ideal day. It’s brainstorming, it’s visualizing, “If I could have anything in the world, this is what I want.” And we’ve all played that game.

My parents used to live in New York, and my husband and I would drive back and forth between Boston and New York. And right where 95 and 91 came together there was always this giant billboard and it had the lottery numbers, and it would say, “Powerball is $X. million dollars”. For the next 20 or 30 minutes we would go back and forth saying (I’m making up the number) if it was $200 million that’s enough money go into work and just tell everyone what you think about them after the check clears. And then we would say, “What would we do? What’s the first thing?” We would just have this complete fantasy time of what we would do.

That’s how I want you to think about the Wellness Vision, because we’ve all played that game of “if money was no object, what would you do? If you had unlimited vacation time, where would you go?” But we never really do that when it comes to the container of real life. So that’s what the Wellness Vision is, it’s like in the container of real life what do you see your healthy lifestyle, what do you see for yourself? What does success look like for you? And let yourself go into adreamweaver state, let yourself just get crazy and dream big.

Finding your inspiration

I’ve talked about this multiple times – I journal, this is not something that’s going to be this five-minute exercise you are writing down what the heck you want from your health and your fitness. it might be a couple-day process. For me, I think best in the most random situations. I used to take public transportation a lot,… things would just come to me when I was on the T.

Now things come to me when I’m working out.

Niel Rodgers, he’s been a musician for zillions of years and he has written, produced, played on a multitude of songs that we’ve all heard. He’s written and produced with Madonna, Inxs, Duran Duran, Chic to name a few. And he says that where he gets inspiration – he lives in New York – he would ride the subway all night as he’s working through lyrics to a song or working through the music to a song. We all find inspiration in weird spots.

Take some time and ask yourself, “What is my ideal scenario when it comes to my health? What is my ideal scenario when it comes to my fitness? What do I want?”

The Golden Zone

When I was at this event a few weeks ago this woman said, “I want the Golden Zone.” And she went on to describe what the Golden Zone was, and she said, “The Golden Zone is where I’m not constantly thinking is what I’m eating, is it good? Is it bad? I’m not freaked out if I miss a workout. I’ m not constantly thinking about food, I’m not constantly thinking about exercise. I just wake up and it’s just what I do.” Now, that’s a vision, that right there is a vision. Her vision, she calls it the Golden Zone; you can call it whatever the heck you want, you can call it Hamburger Land, I don’t care. But she calls it the Golden Zone, and that’s where she wants to go.

Those are the kind of thoughts that I want you to bring up – what’s keeping you stuck? Do you look at someone else and think, “Suzy, man. Suzy has A, B, C and D. God, if I could just have half of what Suzy has, my life would just be complete.” So, think about those things and just write them down. And don’t feel like it has to be in any particular order. And I do have a blueprint for you, so if you’re someone who’s like you need to have little structured thinking, I do have a blueprint, you can grab the template right here.

Stop spinning your wheels

So, that’s where you start, it’s like, “What is my ideal scenario? What do I want for my health and for my fitness?” Because the best thing I ever heard was, “If I aim at nothing, I’m always going to hit it.” And I see so many people spinning their wheels and it’s because there’s no clarity about what they want. One day they want to put on muscle, the next day they want a flat stomach, then two weeks later it’s all about having a booty you can bounce a quarter off of, and then it’s back to I just want to learn to have better self-care. So, you’re just moving through life kind of here, there, and everywhere and never really connecting and committing to a path. And when you don’t connect and commit to a path there’s no way you can make forward motion. And then when you don’t make forward motion, “This doesn’t work, this sucks” or “I suck. I’m not supposed to do this. I’m not worthy.”

Whatever your story you tell yourself, I want you to think about it as… this is old school, so some of you youngins might not know what I’m talking about. But back in the day before there was GPS you used to have to open up a map. 🗺️ AAA would send you this thing called a trip ticket, and literally it was probably about the size of a small notebook, I would call on the phone, and tell them I wanted to go from Boston to Florida. They would ask me a series of questions, did I wanted to drive straight through? Did I want to take the scenic route? They would ask about hotels I might want to stay at along the way, they would talk about the kind of food I like so they would highlight different restaurants that I could pull off of; the whole bit. And so, literally the trip ticket, like every hundred miles it would say, “Start on the Mass Pike and head to 84, and then head to 91.” And so, you would do all of these steps, and like would go through the trip ticket.

That’s what the Wellness Vision is, it’s your trip ticket for your health so that if you did get off the route you can come back to the trip ticket and be like, “Wait, where am I supposed to be?” And you could look at it, kind of nowadays with GPS, if you miss a turn the little voice is like, “Rerouting.” Instead of “Rerouting”, it’s like, “Where did I start? And I want to get back to here.” And maybe you do need to reroute, but if I don’t know where I started, how do I know where I want to go?

And I always want you to think about this – the clearer I am about where I want to go, the better chance I have of getting there, and also the better chance I have of making the micro adjustments to help me get there. And if you want, think about micro adjustments as I’m driving down the highway and there’s construction and maybe the whole road is closed, and you have to do a roundabout route because of construction. Or maybe the road is closed because there’s a huge accident and we’re all trying to figure out how to get around this accident. I want you to just think about those kinds of things because that’s life, there are bumps in the roads, there are accidents, there is always going to be detours, and figuring out the Wellness Vision your kind of pre-think out those things. You kind of say, “In the past these have been my obstacles.” Maybe your obstacles are vacations, maybe your obstacles are certain people, maybe your obstacles are certain foods, maybe your obstacles are times in the day, and you just kind of pre-think what your known obstacles are so that you can kind of say, “Susan, whenever she calls me we always go out for a drink, and it’s never one drink, it’s always easily a bottle of wine that turns into food that turns into this, this, this, and this.” So maybe it’s you calling up Susan and you set up parameters about, “Hey, I would love to meet you for a drink, but it can’t turn to a night of debauchery.” You have this pre-emptive conversation so that you just don’t let the night go along and you wake up the next morning kicking yourself like, “Ugh, I did it again.” 😩

Plan for Ebb and Flow

Or maybe it’s like you’re going on vacation, so you look for places that might have a gym, you look for places that might have healthier options, so that you’re not feeling like, “Oh my God, I’m still on my diet on my vacation.” Instead you’re like, “I can still have a fun vacation and still honor my health.” Do you see what I’m saying? Finding that ebb and that flow between staying on the vision, but then also having that flexibility in your life, because I really hate when people are missing birthday parties or they’re so focused on getting up before everyone gets up on vacation so they can go to the gym and get that out of day. No, no, no. I don’t want that for you. I lived that life, and it’s not a fun life, and I want to save you from that.

The other thing about wellness vision is set your priorities. You’re not falling for those shiny objects, you’re not seeing, “Oh, Sally is doing Keto and Susie is doing Whole 30 and so-and-so is doing Paleo.” You’re like, “This is my vision, and does Keto fit into what my vision is, what my priorities are? Does Whole 30 fit into my vision, what my priorities are? And it always kind of helps ground you, kind of put your feet on solid ground, versus like you always feel like you’re scrambling a bit for that. And the key for it is that you have to write it down. That is the one thing that I think a lot of people miss. When I write it down it’s something that activates in my brain, that my brain starts to register this as truth. And there’s a famous study from Harvard about goals.

(source) https://www.wanderlustworker.com/the-harvard-mba-business-school-study-on-goal-setting/

Prior to graduation, it was determined that:

84% of the entire class had set no goals at all
13% of the class had set written goals but had no concrete plans
3% of the class had both written goals and concrete plans

The results?

Well, you’ve likely somewhat guessed it. 10 years later, the 13% of the class that had set written goals but had not created plans, were making twice as much money as the 84% of the class that had set no goals at all.

However, the apparent kicker is that the 3% of the class that had both written goals and a plan, were making ten times as much as the rest of the 97% of the class.

The study goes to show the power of just writing things down really helps to just kind of get your brain just activated and start to tick off like, “Yeah, let’s do this, let’s make this happen.” So, take the time, sit down, write out what your ideal vision is, and then also take the time to just see it. See it in your mind and make a movie of it. I know I really stink about that and I need to get better at it, that’s one of the things I’m working on.

There is a woman, her name is Lisa Nichols, and she is a motivational speaker. She’s awesome, so Google her and watch one of her videos, she’s a rock star. And one of the things she talked about was she always wanted to meet Oprah. Lisa was one of the authors of The Secret, and if you don’t know what The Secret is The Secret is a book about the law of attraction. She was one of the people who participated in the book, The Secret, and the movie, The Secret. And of course, Oprah was like, “The Secret, this is an awesome book, you must come on my show.” So, for years Lisa would see herself being interviewed by Oprah, she’s like, “I could smell the leather from the couch, I could feel what it was like to shake her hand, we’re gonna be besties”, the whole nine yards. Oprah’s people knocked on the door and say, “Hey, we want you to come on The Oprah Show.” And she’s there, and she’s like the whole experience was exactly how she envisioned it. She said, “The only thing that was missing,” because there were, I think seven or eight of them being interview at the same time, “we couldn’t sit on the leather couch, so we’re sitting in director’s chairs.” But she’s like everything else was just as she had imagined it in her mind.

Get Clear

So, I want you to really get that clear on your Golden Zone (if that’s what you call it), “Okay, I just wake up at 5:00 a.m. and I just go to the gym, and I come home for the gym and I just automatically make a protein shake I don’t think anything different, I don’t think, ‘Oh, where are the blueberry pancakes?’ I don’t think, ‘Where is the bacon and eggs?’ I’m like, ‘Bring on that protein shake because I know that’s going to nourish my body.’ And then in the evening I have a bedtime, I am never dragging booty all through the day because I don’t know how to take myself to bed.” So, it’s like those kinds of things, like just close your eyes and just see it happening.

There are six steps to creating a Wellness Vision, and the first step is clear, you’ve got to get clarity, where do you want to go? If you were punching it into the GPS, where are you going? Because if you punch in here – I’m here on Mass Ave in Cambridge. Mass Ave goes for four towns, so Mass Ave could lead me anywhere; it could be 20 miles that way, 10 miles that way. So, where do you want to go? And be clear, and don’t be afraid, just have faith that you can do this. And just be super clear about what you want.

What’s your motivation?

What is your motivation? Have the courage to say, the balls to be like, “I’m planting the stake in the ground, and this is who I want to become. I’m done dilly dallying over here, I’m planting my stake, and this is where I want to land, where I want to end up, this is how I want to feel about myself, my body, my life.” And then it comes into what is going to motivate?

We all have those days. Like right now it’s snowing outside. Imagine if this was 5:00 a.m., you knew it was going to snow; are you going to get up? Are you going to get up and shovel out your car, go to the gym? Maybe you have to shovel out your car again and then come back home, because it’s been plenty of mornings that I’ve done that. But you have to be in that mindset of, “You know what? I’m not going to roll over because it’s snowing. I’m not going to come up with a multitude of excuses why I can’t because of the snow.” So, you have to have that connection, that motivation inside.

Draw your line in the sand

And then the next piece is what are the challenges? I talked about this earlier. You need to sit down and say, “You know what? Stuff is going to happen. It’s going to.” A snow day is going to happen, a flat tire, boss dumps work on your lap, all of that stuff is going to happen. Kids get sick, you get sick, the whole bit. I want you to just literally sit down and write out those scenarios; what if any of that happens. And we know those things that always happen.

When I was in corporate, I had this boss who made The Devil Wears Prada look like Mary Poppins, she was straight up the devil. Anyway, she would always just come up with these last-minute projects for me to do. It would be like 5:00pm, she would swing buy and say, “Girl, I need this for first thing in the morning.” And she’s like, “You’re a peach.” And I’d be like, “No, I’m more like an angry elf.” She would always do that to me, and so finally I was like, “I’m done.” I was always the last person at work, and I just was starting to get resentful, and so I said, “I gotta to do something for myself.” And I found this kickboxing class two nights a week, and I said, “I’m going to tell her that two nights a week I’m taking this class. Any other night I can say late, but Mondays and Wednesdays I have to leave at 5:30 come hell or high water.” And I went in and I told her, and I said, “Look P, for my sanity I really got to start to exercise, and on Mondays and Wednesday I got to leave at 5:00pm so that I can go to this class.” At first she was just like, “What?” And then eventually she realized that I liked the class and I was less bitchy to her and to other people when I went to this class. So, figure out what your obstacles are and how you are going to get around those particular obstacles.

Consistency not complacency

And at the end of the day it’s all about, “How do I create the consistency?” It’s like, “I need to create these great habits, and the great habits will create the results, and the results will ultimately create the consistency.” And at the end of the day that’s what we want. We want to be able to have these repeatable events; we want to be able to say, “When I take these three actions. I know this is what’s going to happen.” I think about it like an experiment or a recipe, if I put together three different things, I know I’m going to get a great cake, or if I put these things together, I’m going to make amazing taco.

You decide what motivates you more.

But it’s like that blueprint, it’s like, “What do I want? What do I want to become? What are the habits, routines that I need to start to create? What are my obstacles? Who is going to motivate me? Do I have a support group?” Because you need the support, because there’s times when the voices in your head starts talking to you louder than anything, and you just need someone who can be real with you, someone who can kind of grab you by the feet and just bring you back down earth when you start to spin out of control. So, think about those kinds of things.

And the vision, at the end of the day, is your path. I write it down, and I look at it every morning as part of my morning ritual. I flip through it, I read it. I spend a few minutes closing my eyes and just seeing what my Golden Zone is. And then that’s how I kind of embody it into my day.

And then I typically ask myself the question, “How can I live my best life today? How can I live my ideal vision today?” And usually something flows out of me that I’m like, “Oh wow, I’ve never thought about it like that.” And maybe that will happen for you, I don’t know. But I just always want to throw those kinds of things out there. I know for some people that might seem a little airy-fairy, and five years ago I would have been like, “Yeah, not so much for me.” But it has really kind of changed my life to be able to sit down and create those things.

What is your Golden Zone, leave me a comment below.

3 Cycles to Bust Through a Weight Loss Plateau

February 15, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

I am Kim Barnes Jefferson and I am your host of FabFitTv. I help women to break free of a doubt-free and rule-free life so they can live a life of infinite possibilities.

Today I want to keep on the theme of how do we diet in 2019, how do we get the results that we are looking for? So, I want to talk about the dreaded plateau. We’ve all faced it, we’ve all had it, and we’ve all just been like, “What can we do?” And what I see time and time again is that when you hit that wall where the scales are not budging, you’re not seeing any change in the scale, you’re not seeing any change in your physique, you’re like, “Time to up that cardio, strap myself to that treadmill, and I’m just going to live off of diet coke and rice cakes.” Anyone? Been there, done that, and I’ve got the multiple t-shirts for that.

I want you to think about how you feel when you increase all this exercise and you decrease all your calories. You are craving like a mofo. You might be a little bitchy, and you’re just trying to figure it out and you’re going nutso. And you’re clicking and scrolling. You’re asking everyone, and they’re all telling you to do these things. I’ll tell you that for a bit, dropping my calories and increasing my exercise is going to work. Until it doesn’t.

Your body is having a tantrum

Everyone talks about our metabolism — my metabolism is fast, my metabolism is slow, my metabolism is out to lunch, whatever is. But I want you to think about when someone pushed you to your limit and you just either lost your shit, or you dug in your heels and decided you’re not going to budge. That is what our body does when we try to force it into submission.

It’s just like, “No, I’m not going to do it. I don’t care how much you starve me, I don’t care how many hours of cardio you do, I don’t care how many hours you’re at the gym, I’m not moving.” It is like a stubborn two-year-old, it’s that kid that’s laid out on the floor and you’re just like, “I want to walk away right now and give this kid to the circus.” In order to get that kid up off the floor you’re going to do anything, right? You’re like, “What can I do?” You’re just mortified, but then you’re also like, “But this is my kid, I can’t just walk away, can I?” That’s how your body is, so let’s pick your body up off the floor.

Do the unthinkable

And now I’m going to tell you to do something that you’re going to be like record scratch, like the earth has stopped spinning on its axis kind of thing. I’m going to tell you to eat less and exercise less. Yes, you heard me right. You’re going to eat less, and you’re going to exercise less. Now, you’re already into the eat less, you’re like, “Yeah, I got that. What are you talking about? It’s all me, I can do that. But the exercise less, girl, you’re crazy.”

Now, hear me out. The strategy behind that is that our metabolism. Our body has just been beaten into submission. Do you know what it’s like when you’ve just had a week and you’re just dead on your feet and you can’t wait for the weekend and the whole weekend you’re like, “I am not leaving my couch, I am not getting out of my pajamas, I just want to chill and watch everything on Netflix until I have to call Netflix and say ‘You need more stuff because I just watched it all.'” Have you ever been in that state? That’s the state your body gets when you have just been beating it into submission, it’s just like, “Uncle, I surrender, I can’t give you anymore, I need a break.” And when you go into the eat less, exercise less, that’s exactly what you’re doing, you’re giving your body this break. You are basically putting your body on the DL, you’re letting it rehab and recover.

It’s nice to make your acquaintance.

It’s letting you repair that metabolic damage, it’s letting you start to get reacquainted with your body.

Reacquaint it with what hunger feels like.
Reacquaint it with what rest feels like.
Reacquaint it with how your body is supposed to function when you’re not trying to push it into a place it doesn’t want to be.

And so, when I’m able to give my body this rest my body, my hormones start to balance out, my mood starts to balance out, my sleep starts to increase. I am now a person that people want to be around. I am not feeling like I’m that girl with the rice cakes and the diet coke who’s on a diet and I can’t do a darn thing until my diet gives me the 30 pounds, or whatever you’re looking for.

Reset your expectations

I know for a lot of people this is like, “What? What are you talking about?” But trust me, one of the things I’ll tell you is that it helps to reset your expectations of what your body is capable of. It helps you to chill out, it helps you to ease into, “I am where I am, and I can’t force change.”

Think of it like this – if you’ve ever saved for something, you’ve saved for a house, you’ve saved for a vacation, whatever it is, your paycheck is only as big as your paycheck is, and you can only allocate but so many dollars towards this vacation or towards this house. And when you want to save for a house, and you can only save say $100 a week, I don’t ever hear anyone marching into your boss’s office saying, “I need more money because I need to save for a house” and your boss is like, “Sure, here you go.” That doesn’t really ever happen.

But that’s what you do to your body when your body doesn’t give you what it wants. You literally march down the office and you’re like, “You need to give me more results, and if you don’t give me more results, I’m going to do more stuff to force you to give me more results.” It’s like picketing your body, but you’re literally exercising your body into submission, and shockingly it doesn’t want to give it to you.

Give it a rest

So, with this eat less, exercise less, it’s giving your body a much-needed break. How does this work? So, when you were growing up and you probably had three square meals a day: you had breakfast, you had lunch and you had dinner. And you had big spaces of time between each meal, and the big spaces of time between each meal give your digestive tract time to rest. It’s not always digesting – you eat, it digests, it has some rest, you eat, it digests, you have some rest time.

And so, I want you to pick a time that you’re going to stop eating in the evening. Now this isn’t about, “If I eat calories after 6:00 it’s going to go right to my butt.” Malarkey. I’m saying if I have dinner every night at 8:00, I try my best to get dinner on the table before 8:00, it just doesn’t happen. So, I eat at 8:00 and I don’t eat again until anywhere between 12:00 and 1:00 in the afternoon. So, I give myself a good 12 hours of my digestive tract just chilling out, but eight hours of those I’m sleeping, so it’s really only four hours that I’m not eating. And it’s literally just taking my digestive system and just giving it a big old rest. And I was that person, I ate five to six meals a day and I never really gave my metabolism or my digestive system a chance to rest and recover, only when I was sleeping. So, this is another way to kind of help reboot my system.

Then with the workouts. I know for a lot of people who like to work out this is going to be like, “Whoa.” And it was totally whoa for me. The workouts are going to be two to three times a week, that’s it. The rest of the time you’re going to just focus on movement. In last week’s episode I talked all about what movement is, in a nutshell if you’ve got a Fitbit trying to hit those 10,000 steps a day and just moving, active daily living. I go into greater detail, and I’ll put the link in the show notes so you guys can reference it. But it’s movement.

Rest and Restore

Then the other part is just really focusing on rest and restoration, and that is besides the leisure walk, getting your 10,000 steps walking at a leisurely pace, it’s doing infrared saunas, it’s doing cryotherapy. I know it’s winter and the thought of you going from a freezing cold outside to a freezing cold inside you’re like, “Why would I sign up for that?” Trust me, I’ve done it. Believe it or not, three minutes goes by pretty fast. And I’d say I’m cold, like my knees and my ankles get cold by like two minutes in and then I have like a minute, you can do anything for a minute, so I just power through.

The sauna on the other hand, I feel like I’m drunk when I get out of that. I’m just so chill 5,000 when I come out of the sauna. It’s a great experience, just 100% stress reduction. Rest and restoration is taking naps, being more mindful, loving your pets, loving your partner yup read between the lines (s-e-x), watching TV — whatever you do to relax. Whatever it is, it’s all about how do I just rest and recover your body? That’s the main focus during this period where you’re eating less and you’re exercising less.

And this period will last for four weeks, so for four solid weeks you’re getting in two to three workouts a week and you are eating three meals a day. And these workouts, they’re not like, “I only have three workouts, I need to hit it hard.” Yes, I want you to lift. I want there to be a little metabolic work in there, but it’s not like I’m going to the gym for two hours and I’m killing it. That’s not what it is about.

You are working out so that you maintain your muscle mass, so that you’re not just sitting around like veal. Read the Year of Yes, Shonda Rimes has a great story about that in her book. You are still lifting heavy weights to maintain that muscle mass so that when we get to the next phase (eat more, exercise more) you haven’t taken a few steps back. You’ve maintained the strength that you’ve had and now in this eat more/exercise more phase we’re able to start focusing on the muscle build.

During the eat less/exercise less phase, the focus is on tapping into your body’s stored fat. By spacing out meals leptin levels reset, hormone that tells your body that you’re full, reset ghrelin levels, the hormone that tells your body is hungry, and lastly works to reset insulin receptors. When you have too much insulin hanging around all the time your body becomes less sensitive to it.

The Next Phase

Now, in this eat more/exercise more phase, my focus is now let’s again keep the body guessing. This phase you are back to working out a little bit more. You’ll put a little bit more food into your system four meals equally spaced.

For your food think soups, scrambles, stir fries, and shakes. Your meals start with protein and vegetables as the first two components of your meal.

Then add fat, good fats. People are like, “Oh, I cook in my fat.” For this time, I don’t want you to cook in fat for your stir fries. Use chicken broth for your stir fries, and then afterwards, after you’ve cooked the vegetables then you can throw in some of your good fat in once the vegetables have cooked or once the meat has cooked. Focus on protein and vegetables, fibrous vegetables. Fibrous vegetables are like broccoli, cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, those that kind of have that hearty-sticking-with-you type vegetable. There’s no vegetable that’s off-limits to you.

Then I’m going to move to my good fats, focus on oils versus the nuts and the nut butters. Use olive oil sparingly; olive oil is great but has a lot of omega-6, and in our diet we already get a lot of omega 6s. If you go to any grocery store, you’ll see a plethora of oils. Pick any oil with the exception of corn, vegetable, soy, and peanut.

Next, you can start bringing in some of your starchy vegetables. These would be beets, butternut squash, acorn squash, spaghetti squash, those kinds of things. I want you to focus on the protein and the vegetables first. Then pay attention to your hunger and your energy. They will tell you what to do with fat and what to do with starch.

And then the same premise holds true for the eat less/ exercise less, but with the eat more/exercise more I want you to make sure that because we’re exercising, you’re really paying attention to when you have that starchy vegetable. It should be in the morning and around your workout time.

I know for years you’ve been told to ‘avoid carbs’ it’s the “carbs” that helps start the chemical process get the energy in your body, and the protein helps after exercise when your muscle bellies are open for about 20 to 30 minutes post exercise for it to absorb the proteins that help you build and repair.

You also want to pay attention to your hunger, your energy, and craving because that’s what’s going to dictate whether you add a little bit more food or you pull back a little on the exercise, because if you try to push your exercise and not do anything with your food, you’re going to be back in that craving cyclone, and that that craving cyclone sucks.

Increase how you workout

In the eat more/exercise more you’re going to go to four workouts. These are metabolic workouts; they’re strength workouts. But you’re also building in a little bit of plyometric work so that you’re lifting heavy weights. During your workout you should be breathing heavy and sweating. It’s not about I need to PR this workout, no, it’s just like I want to leave and just say, “I had a great workout” and leave the room.

While I’m increasing my exercise and I’m still keeping up with my movement. I still want to make sure I’m getting in those 10,000 steps every day. I still want to make sure that I’m managing my stress. I still want to make sure that I’m managing my sleep. Because I’ll tell you, regardless of what protocol you follow, if you’re not getting great sleep and you’re a stress ball, everything goes out the window. Your body does not do well with prolonged stress and prolonged lack of sleep. Your body is just like, “I don’t like it.” Sleep and stress are always going to be a focus because regardless of what else you do, if that’s not right, you’re not going to get the results.

It’s a process

And so, remember, as you go through these processes, the first phase: exercise less/eat less, is four solid weeks. And then you’re going to do two weeks of eat more/exercise more. Then you’re going to go to two weeks eat less/exercise less until you’ve reached your desired physique goals. And you’re just literally going back and forth, and the goal here is to keep your body going, “What is she doing? What’s happening here? I don’t know.”

Your body is very adaptive, and as soon as it figures out that we’re dieting it’s going to be like, “Oh girl, we’ve been here, I’m not giving you what you want. I’m just going to sit here on the side of the road and I’m going to smoke my cigarette and have a scotch and watch you run around the gym like a crazy person, and I’m not going to do a darn thing because you’ve put me through hell and I’m done being in hell.” That’s how your body talks to you. Your body is like an 80-year-old woman drinking Dubonnet and smoking like Pall Malls! So, you have to keep your body guessing.

I’m not that person who ever believes that a food group is off limits. I’m more about at certain times, based on your goal, your choices change. But all food groups always will have a place in your diet.

Find your buffer

For me, I need to have fruit. It’s like a buffer food for me. Fruit keeps me from eating just junk and candy. So, if I have some blueberries in my house, if I have a banana in my house, I can eat that, and it takes the edge off of me seeking out know Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or M&Ms or jelly beans. If I have a handful of blueberries or I have a banana with some nut butter on it, I’m good. It takes away the craving monkey and I’m able to move forward.

But again, during this period is when you really start to become the investigator. I want you to think about CSI. They look at the chalk outline and they’re like, “The guy must have broken in through the window, and then he did this, then he did that.” That’s what I want you to think about when you’re going through the process. Remember that we’re focusing on repairing or rebuilding our metabolism so that our metabolism has that flexibility and we don’t ever hit these plateaus anymore. Or when we see ourselves getting into that plateau, we’re like, “I see the plateau ahead and I know how to make this left turn in order to avoid that plateau. I see another plateau, I know how to make a right turn.” And so, that’s where I want you to start thinking about. The more I can get in-tuned with my body, the more I can avoid plateaus in the first place.

When I work with my clients through this cycle, it’s not about the number on the scale. I want you to think about what does your physique look like?

Are you looking to reduce the size of your thighs?

Are you looking to reduce some belly fat?

Are you looking to get some more shape in your body?

And by shape, that’s where you build muscle.

Fat makes you fluffy, where muscle kind of like shrinks you in.

For a lot of my people, when they get to the exercise more/eat more, I want them really focusing on quality workout, so that the last few reps of the exercise they’re doing feels challenging with great form, so that as we go through these cycles, you’re starting to see maybe that hourglass is starting to uncover. Maybe you’re starting to see a little bit of a shoulder cap. Maybe you’re starting to see a little tighter tush. Sometimes, you’re able to see the results of your effort versus looking down at the scale and then being like, “It’s not adding up.” Or you’re losing a pound here and a pound there; take that away.

Judge it by measurements.

Judge it by how your clothes feel.

Judge it by how your hunger is, by your energy, and by your sleep. Those are the markers that are going to really give you the biggest bang for your buck.

That’s all I got for you today! So, it’s really how do you go about busting that plateau. It’s really turning what you think upside down, inside out, and left and right.

Definitely if you have any questions or comments about this, I’d love to talk it through with you to see how this could possibly benefit you.

Last Week’s Show: The New Rules of Weight Loss

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The 10 Minute Self Care Routine For Busy Women

February 9, 2019 By kimkb49 Leave a Comment

In today’s hectic world it’s so easy to let yourself get lost in the process and forget to take care of yourself. Maybe you’ve been so busy worrying about other people you don’t even know what taking care of yourself looks like.

If that sounds like you, I’d like to share with you some ways to reduce stress and get back some “me” time.

But before I do anything else, let’s first define what self-care really is: “
Any intentional activity that you do that in some way contributes to your emotional, physical, mental health and well-being.”

So simplistically, it is any activity that soothes and satisfies your soul.

Let me repeat, it’s not getting spa treatments, it’s anything that makes you feel good and feel like a human again.

If you aren’t the touchy feely type, let me break it down in machine terms. Every piece of machinery needs some periodic scheduled maintenance to keep it working correctly – think oil change! If not, over time that piece of machinery will fail to perform its function. Your car will leave you on the side of the road!

You need that same type of scheduled maintenance too (or you will eventually fail) it’s called SELF CARE!

I hear you with all the other priorities you have in your life right now scheduling in time for self-care can feel like an obligation. Flip the script and think of self-care as one of your non-negotiables and for the love of God make it something that you enjoy!

Different things work for different people. You have to find what works for you.

I work from home running an online business and I know how hard it is to break free from the hustle. I love what I do and want to keeping working. It can be tough to find that balance.

I know that when I don’t have the balance I’m junk, I can’t keep “hustling”.

If you are already maxed out on time, you may have to give up something to have time to add in self-care. Do you really need to spend a half-hour a day on social media to see what others are doing? Instead, take that half-hour for yourself occasionally and spend it on self-care. Maybe it’s taking an extra 5 minutes in the shower and applying a bath oil with essential oils. Maybe it’s waking up 10 minutes earlier and enjoying your cup of coffee or tea vs taking it to go.

Setting Boundaries at Work If Necessary

If you are coming home from work drained every night, or bringing work home with you, maybe it is time to set some boundaries. This one was huge for me when I worked in corporate. I found a kickboxing class that I LOVED, and it forced me to stop working exactly at 5pm so that I could make the class on time.

Sit down and look at what you must do and things you could give up, trust me you have something that you can give up. Maybe you have some responsibilities that can be shifted to a co-worker that isn’t as overloaded as you. The important thing here is if you do not initiate a change, everything will stay the same … and you will still come home drained every night. Grab the bull by the horns and make change happen.

Feeling Happier with Your Life

Good mental health – one of the keys to happiness – starts in part with good physical health. By taking care of your body, you will get in better shape, which in turn will improve your self-confidence and how you view yourself. Feeling good about yourself will always improve your mental mood!

Exercise

You don’t have to run a marathon to reap the benefits from exercising. Lord knows I only run when chased! Even something as simple as a 20-minute walk during your lunch hour will not only help you manage you weight, but will improve your mood by the release of endorphins in your brain

Eating right

Focus on eating healthy nutritional food in the right portions … like a colorful small plate of fresh fruits and vegetables. Add in some whole grain and lean protein, while avoiding sweets and processed foods, and you will be well on your way to looking good, feeling good and bursting with energy.

Sleep

Set a bedtime so that you can do your best to get 7+ hours of sleep. Maybe you spend 5 minutes writing down 3 things you are grateful for. This one of my favorite ways to do that, the 5 Minute Journal. Maybe you diffuse some lavender to help you sleep a little better.

None of the above lights your heart. Here are a few other ideas.

Warm bubble bath

Massage – Groupon is my jam for these

Reading for pleasure

Walking in nature

Playing with animals

Playing with children

Spa Treatments

Dance it out

Knit

Journaling

Meditation

Deep breaths

Don’t Forget to Schedule Self-Care

So many want to focus on diet and exercise as the only way to get healthy and fit. Yes, that’s important, BUT if you aren’t taking care of your mental health, you won’t be able to get the most out of your balanced work and personal life.

Self-care keeps you sane. Keeps you from running around like a wild woman!

As the saying goes, you need to put on your oxygen mask first before you check on the other person.

Of the list above what looks like something that can start doing today?

Break Up With The Plan

Question Yourself

The All or Nothing Approach

Wouldn’t you want it to be different?

Work the Plan

On a Scale of 1 to 10…

Get Into Action

What’s Good For the Goose…

Track Your Progress

Unconventional Switch Up

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